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I have long been of the opinion that if you want to join a discussion about the best movie ever made, there is a certain number you should first reach. That number? The number of films you have seen. What is that number?

One thousand. Minimum.

Yes, it’s a lot. No, it’s not impossible to accomplish. Yes, you can do something else beyond watch movies for a decade. No, you can’t count watching the same movie a thousand times as your qualification.

Now, I won’t lie, I do have the ass of someone who has seen twice that minimum threshold. No regrets, either. I love movies as much as I love every other form of storytelling. They reach people in a way that books can’t, and they provide a starting point for a conversation with almost anyone.

But the best movie ever made. Ultimately, that will always boil down to individual tastes, life experience, even gender, which brings me to the subject of today’s post.

The IMDB lists Shawshank Redemption as the greatest film ever, better than The Godfather. The Godfather. Let’s get one thing clear: this is a ridiculous assertion. In a world where films like Chinatown, Casablanca, Rear Window, Once Upon a Time in the West, Pulp Fiction, Moonstruck, and so many more exist, Shawshank doesn’t even deserve to be in the top 10, let alone top 2. I’ll debate that with anyone, anytime, anywhere. Shawshank is the ultimate bromance, well-acted and well-directed. The writing is decent, but the pace is criminally (haha) slow. I was bored the one and only time I could actually sit through the movie, and I’ve never had a desire to watch it a second time.

In all fairness, I feel the same about Titanic. In fact, I’d argue that Titanic and Shawshank serve the same purpose for each gender. Both films feature a relationship that sustains two characters through difficult times, the main characters are in literal and metaphoric prisons, in both situations those characters make a lucky escape, and they’re reunited in the very end. And before anyone starts to whine that Andy and Red really are in prison, Rose is in a prison of sorts, too. A gilded cage is still a cage.

Of course, it takes death to bring Jack and Rose back together, which opens up another interesting discussion about how the bromance is the one that ends happily. What does that mean? Guys, your bros are the only sustaining relationship you’ll ever have in your life? Ladies, the love of your life is the one you couldn’t be with?

Also, both films elicit tears from their respective genders. Think about that one.

I could probably have this discussion for days with the right people, as long as they’ve seen at least a thousand movies.